death

Bavarian Gentians

~ Frank Hudson ~ 1 Comment

One of the things I’ve loved about doing this Project is the varied ways that poems come into consideration for performance within it. I’m not even sure after reaching 850 of them today, that I could catalog all the ways the words have come forward. Here’s an example: last week my wife was visiting a wildflower area — something she does often enough that I kid her that she’s a nature nymph with all the powers and duties thereof. She’d taken some pictures. One she showed me was of gentian flowers.

“Do you know D. H. Lawrence has a poem about blue gentians?” I asked

“The flower or the dye?”

“Mostly the flower as I recall.”

In actuality, I couldn’t recall much about Lawrence’s poem, only that it had once impressed me around the age of 19 or 20 when I had started to read poetry more widely. Now the old man-me did a quick web search before going to sleep that night and found Lawrence’s “Bavarian Gentians,”  likely the Gentian poem I’d barely remembered. I copied it and saved it for further exploration around a Parlando Project performance.

This week I began to work on that. The first thing I noted was the poem’s odd word-music. There is enormous use of repetition: words “blue,” “black”, “dark” and “darkness” reoccur constantly, and the flow of the poem seems less that of normal prose or poetry and more like a stuck-record ostinato.*  In performance I couldn’t see how to treat this as an elegant set of refrains, so I based my eventual performance on my first impression of obsession.

But there are twin narratives inside the poem’s babbling: observation of the gentian flower itself in the Imagist manner, and a retelling of the Persephone in Hades myth. What I feel links them (other than the obsessive refraining about the dark blue color of the flower and the coincident darkness of Hades’ underworld domain) is that flowers are the reproductive organs of plants, and the Hades and Persephone, daughter of Demeter, myth is about a male/female couple in the context of Demeter’s goddess of fertility.

bottle gentians by Heidi Randen

The bottle gentians that led to today’s piece. Like the Bavarian gentians in Lawrence’s poem, dark blue and autumn-blooming. This genus’ flowers stay in this closed budded shape, which hampers pollination, while the Bavarian gentians open into the vase or torch shape described in the poem.

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And then, as I was fairly far along in my work with the musical performance you can hear below of “Bavarian Gentians,”  I made a discovery. There are two candidates for the official, presumed final text of this poem. It just so happens, the one I found in my quick bedtime search was the lesser-known one. The version that instead will be found in most cites and collections treats the Hades/Persephone/Demeter material at a more abstract level, while the one I’d been working with is much more raw and troubling. Note: I’m not a strict adherent to content warnings, but the account in the version I was performing likely deserves one: it’s an incident of sexual violence. Here are links to the two versions of the poem: the smoother one, and the rawer one I used. Keith Sagar and some other scholars question the predominance given to the smooth version and argue that the more explicit take was Lawrence’s final revision.

I can see how the more often reprinted version of this poem was chosen. It’s more graceful I think, and one could read that kind of change as the path of an author’s revision where later, more-removed, artistic judgement polishes the rough-hewn inspirations — but it could also be the kind of revision made to make something more marketable. Now knowing of the other version, I briefly thought I should redo my performance using it — it might communicate better to a listener who might only hear it once —  and another reason I considered a redo: the sexual violence depicted in the version I had first found presented problems.

I’ll briefly outline that problem. Let me summarize the Hades/Persephone/Demeter myth. Hades, the god of death and the underworld, abducts the young Persephone to be his bride against her will and she is unable to escape from this situation. Her mother, Demeter, a more senior and powerful goddess, intercedes and a compromise is reached. Persephone will be able to rejoin the above-ground world of the living, but she must return every winter back to Hades and his underworld of the dead. The myth here is transparently an explanation of the growing season in non-tropical regions. Told at an abstract PG level, and particularly in the expectations and context of classical non-equalitarian and clearly patriarchal society, it’s a “just-so-story.” We are not to experience horror with it.

But in Lawrence’s lesser-known version, this scene is portrayed: the poet’s speaker, using the gentian flower as if it could be a lamp, follows an abducted Persephone and Demeter, this child’s mother pursuing in rescue. They enter Hades, a place of complete darkness, Persephone and everything else for that matter cannot be seen, but sound remains — and this is heard: Hades (called by his Roman name, Pluto*) is raping Persephone.

Did Laurence mean for this account to make us recoil in horror, as I did when I needed to confront the text for performance? Shouldn’t the text call for that? Or was it intended as just some ancient fantastic myth given a bit of specific detail for which the author had and expected no overwhelming empathetic reaction? There are readings of this poem’ that see a metaphoric synthesis which is only on some surface level horrible, and something else on a metaphysical level.

I don’t know enough to say for sure, if there’s a “sure” in this case. Like the sexual violence and exploitation that was woven into Eliot’s “The Waste Land”  without drawing significant emotional weight from most (and mostly male-oriented) readers for decades, it could go either way in authorial intent — but I’m not the author, I have to perform this, I feel that horror, and I expect some listeners will feel the same. Frankly, this makes me a little dissatisfied with my performance of this piece, though I tried not to shirk its implications, however imperfect the result.

What could have driven Lawrence to use this myth in such a way, and in this version, to keep in the horror? He was working on this poem knowing he was facing a mortal illness. Like poets John Keats and Adelaide Crapsey, he was dying of tuberculosis. I have no knowledge of his experience of sexual violence, but Lawrence was undergoing viscerally an abduction against his will into the underworld of the dead. He might have felt that his poem, starting and ending on the consideration of the (by natural fact) bisexual flower justifies that element of considering Demeter and Persephone, and his anima will be taken away to die along with the rest of him by the disease. Make your own judgements on these issues; they may be wiser than mine.

The final line of this version has a contrasting power to what precedes it. The erect yet open gentian flower — which despite its shape was after all useless as a torch in Hades’ dark —  spreads in dark welcome at the draught of the light of a day.

If you’ve progressed this far past the trigger warning, you can hear my performance of one version of D. H. Lawrence’s “Bavarian Gentians”  with the audio player below. No audio player to be seen? Some ways of viewing this blog suppress showing it, so I offer this highlighted link that will open a new tab with its own audio player for those situations.

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*I figure much of my audience is old enough to grasp that metaphor, but a footnote for the rest: the vinyl record with a deleterious wound to its groove which won’t let the needle progress beyond one stuttering spiral revolution.

**Lawrence’s use in the poem of the Anglicized Greek names for Persephone and Demeter, but the Roman name for Hades, Pluto, puzzles some readers. I suppose it could just be a Cortez-on-a-peak-in-Darien kind of poetic error, but I wondered if this poem, written in 1929 might have been recently soaked in the Pluto name from the discovery of the then considered 9th planet. Close, but no cigar: Pluto was discovered in February 1930 at an observatory created by the poet-related astronomer Percival Lowell in the American Southwest region that had recently been Lawrence’s home.

My remaining theory on why Pluto? Having the underworld and its god-king both using the same name Hades makes it harder to distinguish between the two.

The Unquiet Grave

~ Frank Hudson ~ 1 Comment

August brings me this triple obligation: it’s the anniversary of the public launch of the Parlando Project, of my late wife’s death, and of the atomic bombings — three things varying in nearness, scope, and heart-weight. Two of them plainly have to do with grief — and poetry’s connection to matters of death and survival is there to be examined too.

Today’s musical piece isn’t exactly literary poetry, as its survival can largely be laid to singing, not printing and the murmuring eye.*  “The Unquiet Grave”  is one of those works from that prolific author Anonymous. Their publisher? The memories of people who wanted something to sing. The version of “The Unquiet Grave”  that you can hear below was collected by Cecil Sharpe in Great Britain from the singing of a “Mrs. Lucy White at Hambridge, Somerset, 6 August 1904.” This is a portentous coincidence: I just went to the book where I saw that version to gather the note on its collection, and that date of the year is the very day my late wife died; the year of collection, the same that the house my late wife and I bought and I still live in was first occupied; and the place it was sung “Somerset,” says August in its sound.

The Unquiet Grave

With all the words flowing through the Internet, you still might want to pause and listen when the ghost begins to speak.

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The story in the ballad is compressed, but it opens with a lover’s mourning. The next event, the dead partner becoming present and speaking is not just supernatural, it’s also an empirical report of what many of those in grief experience.

Just last week I was listening to Fresh Air’s Terry Gross interviewing podcaster/comic Marc Maron.  As they talked, ostensibly about Maron’s career, the two bonded over their own recent partner’s deaths — Maron’s a couple of years ago, Gross’ earlier this year. They each shared that their dead spouse’s presence and voice had vividly returned to them, and each averred that this experience was not horror-show scary — rather it was, while remaining strange, comforting. I can remember one of my own experiences around a year after my wife’s death. I was becoming involved with my present wife around this time, and I felt it awkward that here was the presence of my dead wife returning. I don’t know if I spoke to my dead wife’s presence out loud, but then in such a spirit world our conversations likely needed no sound or syntax, only the sense, and that sense was a common realization between us that it was  awkward, but that this new complexity was fine. More than speaking — do ghosts laugh? Do we laugh in their presence? I think we both might have that night.

I’ve always felt that “The Unquiet Grave”  has a practical, darkly humorous, intent. If ghosts have additional knowledge, extra-existential wisdom, what the ghost in the song shares is that one can cherish the dead, even hear them speak, but that they are changed forever — and the living can, should, change too. When the ghost says that you wouldn’t want to kiss the corpse’s lips, the gothic joke on deadly “mourning breath” almost writes itself.

The words in Lucy White’s version, which I remained faithful to, somewhat fumble the lyric’s closing statement. What the final exchange the lovers share means to say is “When the autumn leaves fall from the trees/and (then) spring up green again.” I just sang what was on the page, but that fumble is, I now think, also exemplary of grief, it’s misdirection. Grief’s disruption, like a slight-of-hand magician: something is here (like what you meant to say), and then it’s, poof, gone.

Today’s musical performance of “The Unquiet Grave”  is a tribute to Fairport Convention, the pioneering British folk-rock group — a choice of mine inspired by recently listening to Andrew Hickey’s 500songs.com history on how that group formed its own Cecil Sharpe revival-with-Stratocasters after their own encounter with death and grief. You can hear my performance with the audio player below. Has any such player failed to materialize? If so — mourn but organize — and click this highlighted link which will open a new tab with its own audio player.

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*It’s hard to date the ur-versions of folk songs, though many were printed in the 18th and 19th centuries, first by commercial broadsheet publishers and then by collectors and song-catchers like Cecil Sharpe and Francis James Child. Child collected “The Unquiet Grave”  in America in the late 19th century and numbered it 78 in his ballad collection. It’s always seemed to me that “The Unquiet Grave”  (also known in versions as “Cold Blows the Wind”)  is an extended variation of one of the oldest fragments of English language poetry “Westron Wynde,” which has been dated to the Middle Ages, plausibly to quite early in that era.

Dirge Without Music

~ Frank Hudson ~ 3 Comments

I’ve worried a bit lately that I’ve been doing too many Parlando pieces presenting sad poems. It’s likely that mood is part of my nature despite living a life I’m grateful for — perhaps even more so because I live a life I’m grateful for, and I’m therefore aware of its temporary nature that I cannot keep. Because of this, I’ve kept a quote, a suggestion, from Kurt Vonnegut close to me:

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’”

Vonnegut wrote this in one of his last books, one that might again speak to my mood in this state of my nation and its ideals, A Man Without a Country.

At my age, it’s no longer morbid to think about death. This past weekend my wife and I went on a goth date, and visited one of the fancier local cemeteries. We mostly went for the 1910 main chapel building full of early 20th century William Morris/Pre-Raphaelite derivations which echo back to the start of the era I mine for a lot of the poetry here.*  The cemetery was taking part in a special open-house event held around the Twin Cities offering more access for the public to “behind the scenes” parts of the facilities.

We walked by famous early citizen’s gravesites, some elaborate with statues and such, and then too the many small vaults with names and dates on their file-cabinet sized faces. One room’s space was maximized with rows floor to ceiling across the room — so much like a library, even up to having a rolling metal staircase that would facilitate viewing the topmost. Instead of spines one views in those tall rows names, and partner’s names, and those bookend years. Every one of them, like every book I suppose, expects that there’s someone left to see and remember them, and I paused to consider that that wasn’t always so.

In another part of our tour, another portion of my nature was stoked. Walking by the cemetery’s crematorium, I noticed this homely implement hanging on the wall. As the old prayer book has it: ashes to ashes, dust to dust — and that passage now had a corollary: and dust to pan.

Dome and Dust Pan

Part of the main chapel: tiled mosaics, stained class, intricate motifs, capitol mottos. Crematorium: clean, professional, and an inexpensive hanging broom and plain white plastic dustpan, the same model as hangs in our home pantry.

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Oh, it was a beautiful Spring day, full of decoration, full of evidence of grief, inscriptions of loss — and to the puritan, evidence of vanity. Life is so big, or so small, we must laugh at it.

Which brings us to today’s poem I’ve performed with music: Edna St. Vincent Millay’s “Dirge Without Music.”   I had finished this piece earlier this Spring, but at first held it back because I feared it was too much like some other musical pieces I was working on — and then after those coincident issues expired, I started to worry that it was too much-more sadness. Revisiting it this week, I now think no, it’s not just bleak — it’s a bald-faced statement of honest feelings about death and loss. Here’s a link to the full text of the poem.

In writing music and preforming this poem, am I disrespecting the author who titled her poem “…Without Music?”   I think Millay’s intent here was to speak against sentimentally decorating loss. Loss has patterns, resolutions, codas, and rests — and music too, even if it has repeat marks, has an ending measure — but music’s part of the equivalence is so often beautiful. In such ways fine poetic word-music, as well as that with express melodies, may speak over loss, interrupt it. Perhaps my rough-hewn voice with its limits and plainness, its lack of precise or elaborate lyricism, is apt for Millay’s mood here?

You can hear that musical performance of Millay’s poem with the audio player below. What if you see no player? That’s likely because some ways of reading this blog suppress showing it, but this alternative highlighted link will open a new tab with its own audio player.

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*A few years back here I did a series on “before they were Modernists” with early poems by some Modernist figures. More than a few had roots in those retro-hipster movements of the late 19th century, and many a free-versifier had carried around a Swinburne volume in their youth.

Kevin FitzPatrick’s Farewell

~ Frank Hudson ~ 7 Comments

Nearly 50 years ago when I moved to the Twin Cities I fell in with a group of Irish-American writers — only they didn’t call themselves that, they called themselves the Lake Street Writer’s Group, and when my friend Dave Moore wanted to roughly categorize them back in those days he’d say many of them worked as bartenders. And so, at first, their monthly meetings would be at a bar table, I think the first one I attended was at the Artist’s Quarter, a bar and music venue.

Time and writing changes one, and so it changes groups of writers. Over the years some wandered off to other pursuits, or to other cities, and one or two died. In its last decade of existence, the group winnowed down to four people. Dave Moore and myself, and two other poets: Ethna McKiernan and Kevin FitzPatrick.*  None of us remainers were bartenders. Dave worked for a co-op grocery after working in bookstores. I worked for a public radio network. Ethna ran an Irish-Arts store until it needed to close, and then worked as a social worker. Kevin had a job with the state labor department, but he spent every non-workday at his life-partner Tina’s farm across the border in rural Wisconsin.

The poet I perform today and his last book.

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Kevin was a healthy seeming guy, able to handle the manual small-farm work in contrast to his desk job. During that decade our little quartet of poets would hear Kevin recount his latest news from the farm, and then we’d hear what he’d transformed out of that when he showed us drafts of poems about the odd turn his post middle-aged life had taken. In this series of poems an office-worker who grew up in the Cities was encountering country labors, mores, and situations, being befuddled or making sense of them.

Kevin’s poems were narrative, and he had a real knack for that form, particularly in his talent for drawing characters in a few words and letting you get a sense of them in a stanza or two.**  One of the charming characters we met as the series of poems spun out was the farm dog: an incongruous poodle named Katie — not a Collie or German Shepard, not any other breed you’d naturally think of protecting the flock and farm. The poet didn’t invent that detail of the farmstead’s dog, but the poet knew a symbol when he came upon one.

Farm dogs are pets with job descriptions, but I don’t think Katie was a herding dog in a professional sense, any more than Kevin was a professional farmer. Still, there were in the poems a sense of Katie being an intermediary between the livestock and the bipeds, and she was portrayed as a useful watchdog and companion when Kevin needed to return to his workweek office job.

In Kevin’s poems we learned that Katie had gotten sick; and though it strained budgets, she had gone through some veterinary treatment. Then, at one month’s meeting, we learned that the poodle farm-dog had succumbed to her illness.

The Kevin FitzPatrick poem I perform today came shortly thereafter. For me, this poem works well, even though intellectually it could seem maudlin or sentimental if summarized. We should be wary of such reduction — poems are much more than AI summaries. Kevin undercut the merely weepy here with his dry sense of humor and understated anger — and then too there’s the poem’s sensual detail: a man at work with the remains and memories of a working dog, the corpse as light as a cardboard cutout, the unthawed March cold.

The poem’s ending has extra poignance for me: it was not that long after the poem was written, and the collection that contained it, Still Living in Town,***  was published, that Kevin unexpectedly took sick and died. I think I remember talking with Kevin — before that knowledge on either of our parts — about liking the final part of the poem, how it implies that when the fear and final of death might come to the poem’s speaker, that the dog’s spirit, preceding over the hill, that hearth and home animal in-between livestock and us humans, would be there faithfully there to assuage the fear of what may be nothing in an empty darkness. I call the piece today “Kevin FitzPatrick’s Farewell”   because to me its writer ended up making that statement while writing a poem about a farm dog.

Kevin heard a couple of my performances of his poems, and his feedback was that I overstated them — and my performances were certainly different from his. He had that drier Robert Frost reading tone down whenever I saw him do public readings, mixed with the kind of Irish wit that evidences just a slightest eye twinkle and unvocalized “a-ha!” while it spears some folly with an off-hand brickbat or dagger. So, to honor that contrast between us I had to fire up the electric guitar and make the speaker in his poem a little shoutier than Kevin. You can hear that performance of mine with the audio player below. No audio player to be seen? Listen: Katie is barking that you can use this highlighted link that will open a new tab with its own audio player.

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*Kevin and Ethna took to hosting a poetry reading every St. Patrick’s Day. The last ones not at some Lake Street dive bar, but at a more tony academic site: The University Club near St. Paul’s Summit Avenue. I’m not Irish, but personally I don’t favor the mandatory cute intoxication elements endemic to that celebration, so I preferred a spotlight on that culture’s poetic side. As the holiday approaches this year, I’m planning to get to Ethna’s poetry too in time for St. Patrick’s Day.

**I admire conciseness. I’ve sometimes compared Kevin’s poems to the narrative poems of Robert Frost. While Frost’s longer blank-verse narrative poems have their power and richness, it’s not the mode that I read for pleasure. Kevin’s rural life poems take more after Frost’s shorter narrations like the “Mending Wall.”  And Kevin’s poems make more use of humor than Frost’s do.

***That book, and others, are available via this web site link.

The Fade, a Rock song about aging and loss

~ Frank Hudson ~ 2 Comments

So here it is, our 800th officially released audio piece from the Parlando Project. Perhaps it’s not representative: it’s not by a dead poet, and unlike almost everything else we do it may not have been written for the page without thought of it being sung. “The Fade”  was written and sung by the leading alternate voice of the Project and all-around inspiration Dave Moore. Dave and I go back to when we were leaving our teenage years. I met him then when he read two pieces in a church: one was his own poem, a cheeky number that mixed eros and agape, and the other was a reading (as if it was page poetry) of Bob Dylan’s “With God on Our Side.”   A decade later we started doing music together as the LYL Band, and some of what we were doing has become melded into what became the Parlando Project.

So, as I think again — is there any way to have a representative Parlando Project piece? Maybe not, and if so, by design. Variety and seeking something unexpected are founding goals.

Dave’s writing here, and our common efforts in making it the song you can hear below, strikes me as something too little done. Rock, whether it’s Rock’n’Roll, punk-rock, Alt-Rock, Indie-Rock, has tended to speak from a youthful perspective. Even the Classic-Rock acts that are still treading the boards at Dave’s or my age hew to topics that would interest those younger than they are. “The Fade”  is far from those common tropes: it’s about the diminishment of aging and particularly about the fogging and loss of memory.

Early this morning I watched an old documentary, a British South Bank Show done in the mid-1980s about the Velvet Underground, a band that was more than a decade defunct at that point, but all the principals (several dead now) were alive then, only entering into middle-age in the 80s, and of a mind to answer questions about the band’s influential work. The topic most covered as they spoke about their former joint project was what made the songs the original lineup put out of lasting importance when the idea of 20-year-old Rock songs having currency seemed novel.

Chief songwriter Lou Reed had it that he wrote about the things he saw around him rather than using the regular subjects of pop songs. True enough, but he chose subjects decidedly less ordinary in song in the times when he wrote them. He specifically wrote about things that frightened people enough that they left them out of the songs they wished to listen to: drug dependency, gay and gender issues, less-vanilla sexuality, and mental variations. And then several others, including the band’s PhD, Sterling Morrison, took pains to note that Reed presented those stories without editorial comment or stance, without sentimentality.

I’ll note now, that later in his career, past the times of that now 40-year-old documentary, Reed wrote one of the few Rock albums about aging and its disabilities: Magic and Loss.  It still stands pretty much alone. It’s also unlikely that even the adventurous readers and listeners that this Project has have heard it.

Dave and I recorded “The Fade”  this past spring. When I talked to Dave this morning we exchanged info on folks we know, folks our age or even a bit younger, who are moving into assisted living or who are suffering from dementia. I don’t know, there are probably a few songs about how sad Alzheimer’s and the like are, probably some songs that try to mitigate it with a chorus that mixes in the memories the sufferer no longer maintains. Dave’s song isn’t like those songs — if they exist — and I’m glad I helped make his song exist, and that I get to share it with you today.

The Fade

This is the sheet Dave handed me with brief scribbled chord notes on the day we recorded this. As you listen to the performance you may see that he did a masterful job of revising his typed words. I think the song gained power from the verses he left out.

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You can hear that recording of “The Fade”  with the audio player below. I think Dave gets a bit of the VU-ara John Cale sound with the keyboards in it. I’m using feedback in it too, but not quite as the Velvet’s did. What? No player visible? No, you didn’t forget it along with where your keys are or what you came into the room for, it’s just not shown in some ways of reading this blog.  You can use this highlighted link as an alternative.

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A Sonnet of Two Letters

~ Frank Hudson ~ 2 Comments

It happens to us alone, but it happens to so many it’s a trope we share. It goes like this: you have one of those bad dreams. Something terrible has gone wrong — and you, inside the dream, feeling it is real, try to fix it — but you can’t because the other people in the dream are oblivious to the terrible and are acting stubbornly in odd, irrational ways. While dreaming you’re trapped in this desperately unsolvable situation only you can clearly see and try to act rationally on, running in place, thinking in circles.

I had one of those dreams this week: felt so real, so heart-wrenching. Then the dawn comes, and you realize that experience was a dream — oh, that’s why you couldn’t fix it, that’s why everyone else in the dream was acting so wrongly!

OK, exiting satire mode, but let’s stay strange.

Early this Fall I was cleaning out something: a box, a drawer, a binder, a little used bag, I can’t remember exactly what. But in it was a clutch of papers. I glanced at the pages and recognized it was a mix of things: some works-in-progress looking for first reads from the old group of poets I used to meet with every month, and some initial drafts of a longer, multipart poem I was writing as my mother was going through her last hospitalization, the one from which she would ask to return to the home I grew up in with my father and sisters in order that she could die there. I set those sheets of paper aside.*  I figured I’d look them over later, maybe digitally scan them, or put them in my filing cabinet. At that later I’d also look to see if there were any drafts in the small stack that were unfinished pieces I could revisit.

Now here it is, we’re November and I finally got around to that sort-out. One of the pages was a college-ruled notebook sheet with a complete intermittent draft of an irregular (American) sonnet. What was this? While I remember well working on the longer poem around my mother’s last illness 20-some years ago, I had no memory of working on this sonnet. Complete blank. Moreover, the sonnet seemed to speak of someone’s story that I didn’t recognize as mine — nor anyone else’s I could recall either.** With the time-interval between discovery of the papers and my finally going over them, I can’t even be sure if this sonnet was found among the stuff from the time of my mother’s death or not. Trying to determine why I didn’t remember it, I wondered if it was even older. I recalled that scholars date Emily Dickinson manuscripts by looking at the changes in her handwriting over time, so I tried that assay. Looked to me more like my 20th century handwriting, so the poem could be older. Still, it was my handwriting, testifying I, however unremembering, wrote this poem — and “What was it about?” That intrigued me. The poem asks the reader to work obliquely, details are supplied but not all the details, something that can tantalize.

A Sonnet of Two Letters

The gardening stake metaphor used in the final section reminds the 2024-me of Robert Frosts “Pea Brush,”  a poem I didn’t know when the me I was back then wrote it

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Why did the voice in the poem not mail their first letter? What was it about the recipient’s husband that was germane to that decision? Was there an affair or appearance of one? Clearer to me was the latter part, the stuff of the second letter, a recalling of youthful aspirations and a friend who by what they said helped make them more substantial than pretensions. What an interesting yoking, I thought. The imperfect, the not said, or the thing whose saying we keep hidden — combined with the things that were said that help us realize our lives.

As you might tell from the previous paragraph, I was experiencing this poem just as I would the general run of Parlando Project poems, ones written by others in a project which has as one of its mottos “Other People’s Stories.” Its mystery and ambiguity captivated me, and so I set about making it into a Parlando song.

I did a revision of the initial handwritten draft I had found and worked on combining it with the music you’ll hear with it below this week. The music today is played as a conventional LP-era rock ensemble: there’s the usual quartet: bass, drums, chordal and “lead” guitar. Added to that are two keyboards, piano and Hammond organ. You can hear the result with the audio player gadget you should see just below. No gadget? Wake up, this highlighted link opens a new tab with its own audio player.

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*Two of those poets have since died, I re-handled those pages, ones they’d typed in and handed to me years ago, and thought tenderly of them. My part of the household is due for an austere “death cleaning,” the tossing of those things an old man keeps to extend something of the life of that-and-those who’ve passed on. I have no grave illness, but the keeper now must consider that they will pass on and that there’s no real keeping.

**I did write from personas in my writing life regularly, a bit more so in prose than poetry. I was likely imagining the “short-story” plot that I then went about expressing in the sonnet.

The Three Friends: an audio play adaptation of a Walter de la Mare short story

~ Frank Hudson ~ 2 Comments

I indicated last time that I had another piece I wanted to present before Halloween by Walter de la Mare, that British master of the subtle supernatural. It took a bunch of concentrated effort to produce something of a realization of it, but it’s as ready as I can make it in time. How’d it come about, and why was I not sure I could promise it?

I use the Internet Archive often as part of this “not just non-profit — it’s non-revenue” Project. One of the things the IA has is a large library of scanned public domain literary works,* which affords me a handy way to look through “many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore.” In the run up to Halloween I made a note to see if there was some Walter de la Mare work I could use for my Parlando Project purposes.

This Project lets me not only explore the well-known writer’s and musical composer’s habit of procrastination, but also the reader’s and researcher’s branch of that foible too. I put that book search in my I’ll-do-that-tomorrow bin for about a week. “I’ll get around to it” I told myself.

And then in mid-October some numbskulls hacked the Internet Archive causing it to go largely offline for more than a week. When the scanned book section returned to availability, I was already into making other new work for this year’s Halloween series, but a few days ago I was finally able to access some additional collections of de la Mare’s work from the IA. In looking through those, I found that Walter de la Mare wasn’t only a poet. He also wrote short stories, which like his poetry, exhibit his dry sense of the strange. “The Three Friends”  is one of his shortest published stories — short enough to work into one of my short-format audio pieces.

Walter de la Mare in front of a microphone

When Walter de la Mare worked the mic, he had a whole radio network to support him.

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“The Three Friends”  is dialog-centric, and in less than a day I was able to jury-rig up a three-person play out of it — but who’d be my voice-acting ensemble? It was less than 72 hours until Halloween. I’d have loved to have used Dave Moore’s voice, but my production schedule is catch-as-catch-can, and I didn’t know if I could corral him in time. My wife agreed to play the part of Lacey, the tavern keeper member of the three friends, assuming she wasn’t completely worn-out from her work and the rest of her life. Last night she stepped up to the mic and recorded that part in a quick pass. I made a logistical compromise and recorded the other two parts with my own voice, also working quickly.**  By about 9 PM last night I had the dialog recorded.

Between then and about 3 PM this afternoon I worked on the audio production of the recordings, selecting a bit of instrumental music (from my last-weekend exploration of a new audio software feature) to serve as a plausible theme music for “The Parlando Project Theatre of the Air.” The 19 hours from first opening up the microphones to an audio play ready to upload weren’t all Project work: I did go to sleep after midnight, I got up at dawn and did a bicycle ride to breakfast, and early this afternoon I made another bike trip to the grocery store — but there was a lot of production work trying to meet the needs of this format that isn’t what the Project normally does. “Radio play” music production isn’t the same as recording and mixing a 3-minute song, and I had to learn how to apply my computer audio tools in a slightly different way. If you haven’t done audio production, it’s a heap of tasks even to get a half-way polished result: finding environmental sound effects, balancing levels, fixing the most egregious dialog glitches, deciding if any pauses are too long or too short, and so on. The result of this experiment is good enough to present, though I note things that I would have liked to do better.

So, what’s the story our actors are presenting for your ears today? Two friends are casually talking about a problem bedeviling one of them. That troubled man, Eaves, has been having reoccurring dreams or visions. His friend Sully tries to make light of it, but in the course of their evening they meet up with the third friend who works in a tavern, Miss Lacey. They talk over Eaves’ problem: you see Eaves thinks he has pierced the Samhain veil. Has Eaves seen, will he tell of, “the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns?”

Well, it’s de la Mare. Most writers would break out the purple pen to write such visions, de la Mare wants to make a more subtle (and human) observation. The orchestra (well, the piano trio) has started to sound. Take your seats and listen to the short, 10-minute world-premiere performance of the audio play “The Three Friends”  by using the audio player below. What, has someone tall with a large hat sat in front of your audio player gadget? I provide this alternative, a highlighted link that will open a new tab with its own audio player.

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*The Internet Archive has also taken an aggressive stance to works that are not clearly in the Public Domain. That activity is controversial and has had some legal judgements handed down for rights-holders. I won’t take your time to go into all that, but its scanned PD literary archive is a treasure for readers and researchers.

**Oh, if only I was one of those skilled voice actors who can call up entirely different vocal timbres to create distinctive sounding character voices! I tried to mitigate the lack of distinction between Eaves’ and Sully’s voices both being portrayed by mine by using stereo separation on today’s audio

The House of Ghosts

~ Frank Hudson ~ 1 Comment

It’s been a busy week at the Parlando Project studio as I record more Halloween-themed songs freshly made by combining other people’s words (usually literary poetry in the public domain) with original music in differing styles. Let us go to the lab and see what’s on the slab.

Last dark-and-stormy-night-time we had a poem that started with someone at a household’s door asking to be let in. Waif or wraith? Therein lies that tale. Today we again have a piece that starts at a doorway — but the tale-teller here lets themselves in. What do they find there? Well, that’s the song.

The words I used today originated with a poem by early 20th century American writer Margaret Widdemer. While Widdemer is little remembered now, she was a successful presence in the literature of her day. And while the Parlando Project does the everlasting Greatest Hits of Poetry sometimes, I also like digging through old poetry collections and anthologies looking for overlooked poems and poets. Such “many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore” reading let me find Widdemer, and one thing that drew me to her was that she seemed to have absorbed some stuff from the folk-music collectors of her time — for example, this eerie poem of hers that builds on the “Lyke Wake Dirge”  presented here six years ago.

One thing that folk-music tradition teaches us: the singer is free to change and adapt the song that was handed down to them. Entirely new words or new music may be applied. Verse order, much less exact wording is not sacrosanct. Instead, a good fit for the singer and the audience (these being the folk in folk-music) is the guiding force. Most composers who work in the Art-Song form are compelled to keep the text unaltered, and while I’m not of that tradition, I most often present the poet’s words as they published them for the silent page. But, for today’s piece I substantially altered Widdemer’s poem to make what I hope is a more effective song.

House of Ghosts

Widdemer’s poem is linked here if you’d like to see the “before” to my substantial revision.

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I started with a simple change: I created a refrain based on the initial verse of Widdemer’s original text when I found it ineffective for audience grabbing. In other revisions and additions, I sought to sharpen the “build” of the story’s details, and I excised antique words and diction that added no charm.

Musically I recorded a late-night laid-back Rock combo of two electric guitars, electric piano, bass, and drums for my resulting song. Here’s the chord sheet in case you’d like to play your own rendition. That’s also the in the folk-music tradition: the song shouldn’t belong to only one voice.

To hear the way I played and sang it you can use the audio player below. What? Has no audio player gadget materialized on your screen?  This highlighted link will open a new tab with its own audio player then.

I plan to be back soon with an entirely different, more orchestral ensemble for the next piece in our 2024 Halloween series. Should I act like a YouTubber or Substack author and urge you to subscribe for this upcoming content?*

No, I’ll leave you as a free agent on that decision. This Project goes beyond non-profit — it is by design no-profit. I just love diverse music and poetry and get a kick out of exploring what’s possible. I have nothing to sell and would avoid anything that is paid by the click, because I have no makeup to be a small-businessman.** But my self-regard (or desire to promote a range of poetry) likes seeing viewers and listeners. Sharing this stuff on social media, or just telling a friend, will help keep this going.

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*The Parlando Project started as a short-form podcast, one sans the usual blather, paid-for-promotions, and between-host jocularity — presenting instead our typically 2-5 minute musical pieces unadorned. It turns out that podcast audiences prefer one-to-two hours of gab — but if you want a break between the talkers in your podcast app, you can still subscribe to the Parlando Project on Apple Podcasts or most other popular ways to get podcasts.

I don’t believe I misunderstand those who appreciate the typical podcast format. I sometimes listen to podcasts while cleaning or fixing something with my hands. Alas, as a person who spends much of their time reading, composing, playing, recording, and mixing music, my own ears are usually occupied, and so I lack time to partake.

**I admire small-business people in general — and yes, I appreciate how hard it is for musicians, composers, and writers to make even a meagre living these days. While I work at this Project like someone with a small-business enterprise, I’m just not suited to bookkeeping, form-filling, and tax-law lane-keeping.

I Sing to use the Waiting — What Emily Dickinson does while waiting for that carriage

~ Frank Hudson ~ 2 Comments

Is there a name for a poetic form made of two quatrains? Emily Dickinson wrote a good number of these 8-liners — brief, but a bit longer than one-stanza forms such as the haiku or the cinquain. One advantage of short forms is that they are easy to hold in memory, allowing them to be shaped and revised while one’s hands are busy with other daily tasks. We know Dickinson sometimes jotted down short pieces on household paper scraps, but maybe even those had earlier drafts before she could grab a pencil.

What can she put in such a container?

This one implies a short narrative. Someone (we’ll just say Dickinson for simplicity’s sake) is waiting at her house for something to arrive. She’s ready to tie on her bonnet (her outdoor hat) and on the waited arrival she’ll be going outside her home. In the second quatrain she says she’s awaiting “his…step.” The something is revealed as a male someone. Where are they going? Dickinson writes of a “journey to the Day.” Is this an odd way to say she expects a day-long journey? Perhaps, but she did capitalize “Day” as if it’s a particular concept rather than a 24-hour interval, and the poem ends with mention of a similarly capitalized “Dark.” Dickinson was fond of circular intervals standing for a lifetime, with a day’s sunset or nightfall standing for death. I suspect that’s what she’s getting at here.

I was captured by this poem, given my musical interests, by its citing of singing in each stanza. Examined carefully, the first line says something distinctive. “I sing to use  the Waiting.” What a striking statement to a musician — or to music’s sister art poetry and poets. Life is time, that’s its waiting. What counts its meter and shapes the air in-between? I think of composer Frank Zappa’s quote “Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.” Poets and musicians sing to use that waiting.

In the ending sentence Dickinson says both she and the awaited are singing to “Keep the Dark away.” Does music — does poetry — hold off, or prevent, death? Well, it may not be that death=dark exactly. Dark may be the unknowable aspect of death, the frightening nature of the threshold we cannot see beyond.

A thought occurred to me as I was living with this poem over the past couple of days: it would seem to pair well with — as a prequel of sorts — to one of Emily Dickinson’s most famous poems: “Because I could not stop for Death.”   In “I sing to use the Waiting”  she’s awaiting that other poem’s he, Death, to bring around a carriage for her. If that’s so, we might expect that on the ensuing carriage ride the two, Death and Emily, are singing as they ride past the playground and the cemetery toward eternity.

The Phantom Carriage 1921 film still

I’m OK with all the night-time transparent carriage traffic, but I wish they’d stop singing so loud. Still from The Phantom Carriage (1921)

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I had immediate ideas for the musical sounds for today’s Dickinson poem setting, which helped me get a rapid start of the process of composing and tracking it. I was aiming for mysterious, but when I went to mix the various tracks it began to sound odder than I had thought it would be. I explored different options at that point, but in the end I decided there was no going back from strange. I should more often remind listeners here that I go exploring a lot of different musical ideas, so don’t take any one piece you hear here as representative of what you might hear in the next piece, or the one after that.

You can hear my musical performance of Dickinson’s “I sing to use the Waiting”  with the audio player gadget below. Awaiting a gadget that never shows up?  This highlighted link is an alternative.

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Quiet Night Thoughts under a harvest moon

~ Frank Hudson ~ 2 Comments

If we think of poetry as more than a barren art, we might think of things we read in poems as things that occurred to another person, somewhere, sometime. Oh it may be a mistake to automatically read poems as memoir — invention has always been one of those occurrences — but the more universal the poem’s account, the more we may think: this decorated thing I’m reading came from the senses of someone feeling an experience.

If we do that, we can think today that somewhere in China, sometime in the 8th century, an adventurer turned poet in middle-age awoke at night. What kind of bed, what kind of bedroom? The poem tells us nothing posh, despite its brevity: the poet’s expectation in the shining he sees around his bed is that it’s frost. It might be a lean-to, or even a bedroll on some improvised pallet out in the open. At best it might be an unheated room.

But still he’s awakened to something shining. He soon re-adjusts. No, this brightness that has occurred is moonlight not the frost of a more northern climate. Commentaries I read on classic Chinese poetry note that “bright” is something of a favorite poetic ideogram in those poems. A good symbol for immanence and essence? That light from the now open eyes of our poet must be seen. Oh, it’s the moonlight, likely a full moon on a clear night, he figures out. But that realization says something about near and far. The moon is more than 200,000 miles away. Yes, the moonlight is near, he could touch it but feel nothing.

What can  he touch? He can put his head back down on the bed and think, perhaps to think himself into dreams of his home. Feel that now with him as the side of face and scalp touch back down. How far, that home? Moon far?

The 8th century poet who wrote this, Li Bai (also known as Li Po), was an itinerant for much of his life. Choice? Consequences of other choices? Exile? The traditions seem to indicate a mixture of all that.

Quiet Night Thoughs

This is a well-known poem in Chinese, taught as an early lesson in poetry to children like Sandburg’s “Fog.” In my translation I did something I don’t normally do: imposing an English meter & some rhyme.

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Now another man, in another bed. I can tell you with more exactness where and when: September 18th, 1970 comes in within a night in London, England. The man has been out to nightclubs, “sitting in,” playing music with others, something that consistently energizes him. For much of his life music has possessed him like that. He’s been blessed or cursed with the compulsion to make it. It’s just a couple days past the harvest moon in this room, the moon as far away as Li Bai’s moon.

He’s with a woman whose role is somewhere between girlfriend and convenient stranger, but this is not strange to him. He barely knew his mother, his father’s time was taken with drink, low wages, and a skin color that marked him as an outsider, and so he could rarely care for him. This had often been. As a child, taken in by other women, neighbors, and relations — and as he left home, others in the various valences between girlfriends and strangers.

Do non-performers understand how hard it can be to transition to sleep after the active interaction of live performance? Performers likely have tried it all: sex, boring TV, cannabis, food, and even more alcohol than they drank to take the edge off self-consciousness before performing — enough to move them from the level of self- to un-consciousness. And yes indeed, other drugs.

This man had moved from at least some of the above to the other drugs: his companion’s sleeping pills. A foreign formulary, they were much stronger than he anticipated.

September 18th, 1970, Jimi Hendrix, the man in London, quiet night thoughts. Did he awaken in that night as Li Bai did in his poem? Accounts differ from that London night. Let me think that at least his consciousness tried to return — in his head the sparkling currents like the magnetic waves when electric guitar strings are strummed. Did he think of home as the great Chinese poet did? If so, what would be home? Did he think of America? He was doubly American in a fierce way: some of his ancestors had been kidnapped and sold to enslavement there, and some of his ancestors had had their before-it-was-named-America taken too, a trail of tears. Did he think of his parents, even more so because of their relative absence in his life? Others who had episodically cared for him? He might have. Maybe too his night thoughts were of music, of songs. We can still hear him sing about dreaming on recordings, so he could have dreamt of singing a new and elusive verse. Did he open his mouth to say it, and there was nothing? No air. No breathing. No life.

You can hear my performance of Li Bai’s “Quiet Night Thoughts” (for Jimi Hendrix)  with the audio player below. See just a pool of moonlight at the end here, no audio player? This bright link will open a new tab with its own audio player.

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